Jeezy peezy.
Did you hear this?
Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon?
Question mark?
NY Daily News - Reports: Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey Wed
Shoot me in the face.
Shoot Mariah in the face.
They're saying at TMGee.com that...wait for it...Mariah didn't sign a pre-nup!!!
Ahhhhhh!
Nick Cannon's like "I do!" And his groomsmen are like...
"YOU MAY KISS THESE BENJAMINS, $ON!!!"
Mariah's like "Nick! Can you take out the trash???"
"Those bills be durty."
Next thing you know, Dwayne Wade will marry Star Jones.
And she'll be making it rain!
Thank God these two aren't actually dating. Like my friend Jesse said, if that were true, Dwayne Wade would be being famous ALL f-ing wrong.
The day Dwayne Wade -Pimp of a Nation- cheats on his wife and kids with Star Jones is the day I finally jump off the roof.
That's me.
O la la! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!?!
Shwing!
PS. Cannon's ex-fiancee is one of the Victoria's Secret models I met in February. She is actually the one who said she'd go drink beers with me on Valentine's Day (SPOILER: she never showed up. Even after I gave her "Brooklyn" as a destination. I waited all night on the bridge.).
Carey, 38, left New York's Tenjune nightclub on Saturday with Cannon, 27, and the massive diamond - which bears a striking resemblance to one Cannon gave then-fiancée and Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks last year.
He gave Mariah the same ring he gave her last year. Thing's burning a whole in this asshole's pocket.
Previously - I Met Some OK Looking Girls.
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